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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Truth: You Can't Handle The Truth!

I start all of my relationships with this one request: "Tell me the truth. Even if it breaks my heart respect my right to know." Men usually respond by saying that I don't mean that, probably because I am fatally attracted to a smooth man. Nevertheless, I mean what I say and I say what I mean.

In talking with my friends lately, I am understanding that women can't handle the truth. I remember when this was true for me and I hope this helps you as much as remembering it has helped me.

One of my ex-lovers was a player. To his core he was a con-man. He saw every person as a means to his end. In his warped view he believed that he gave love and what he wanted was his receiving love. He never let go of women from his past the ones that remained devoted he used for whatever purpose they could serve while holding a relationship just out of reach. In all fairness to me I was not aware of this in the beginning. I felt like I was his Queen to be! The reality is that people who try to control you are the best at making you love them. (I have a saying that if he/she (especially she) spends a lot of money in the beginning they are placing a down payment to secure you for the future drama. Beware of the Sugar Daddy!)
As we dated and he whined and dined me. I was just loving him and not listening to that still small voice inside of me that was screaming this dude is going to play you like a card game. The interesting part was that he told just enough of the truth and avoided the incriminating details. As I spent a year being wrapped up in a beautiful lie, my soul began to decay. I began hating myself for being "that girl." I need the truth to live above the demons that want entry into my life. So living a lie was opening doors to misery I was sure I had conquered.
So when my dear aunt came to my house and took me out to an abandoned church to re-dedicate myself to my first love - GOD, I changed my outlook. It took time and cost me lots of money, but I moved away from the lie. Not so much the ones that he told, which were white and small compared to the ones that I told myself about what and who we were together. All along I knew the truth but I didn’t want to accept it.
Was that his fault? No. I have forgiven myself for not listening to my spirit and allowing so much pain and disappointment to infiltrate my existence. He was who he is and it was my choice to allow that in my life. God and Life changes people, not other people or their feelings for them, trust me on that!
I wish men could understand that sometimes women stay despite the worse that has happened. Truth creates respect.
If a person reveals the worse of themselves are you living in the truth in such a way that you understand and refuse to judge or be rude? When you know who you are you know what you can handle and if the subject is one that makes your spirit uneasy be brave and leave that person alone. I say be brave because the easiest thing to do in any relationship is stay.
I was a coward. I stayed because I enjoyed the time spent and the status symbols. I drank the kool-aid as they say and it was more fun to put in a pretty glass than to put it down.
So first, love you enough to know what you value then accept that even if he does not say it, you know the truth. Then be brave enough to leave him alone.
Now I want to address a few situations: If the man tells you the truth, don't trip because of it, especially if you knew it was likely to have been happening. Secondly, closure is pagan concept!!!! You do not need him to admit what you feel in your belly to leave him. Just go and you do not have to talk about it or let him know you are moving on. Enough conversations with your voicemail will send the picture loud and clear. Trust your intuition. Finally, cultivate your spirit so that you can hear it. Be able to determine between jealousy, past hurt and what you know the God In You sees in the Spirit World.

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