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Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Can You Be A Cynic about Love?

I often wonder if I am cynical about love or just the likelihood that I will experience it. Today I read one of my favorite works of poetry Desiderata. (Click the link to read it.) It inspired my latest rant. I have decided to share my philosophy about love and why I have been a cynic and to be clear I have decided to define our terms for this blog:
Cynic: a person who believes that only selfishness motivates human actions and who disbelieves in or minimizes selfless acts or disinterested points of view.
Love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

To begin I am a lover. I love hard and deep, passionately and patiently. I love like my heart will never be broken and like the object of my affection is incapable of wrong. I see the good and work with the bad; I prioritize affection and care to the point of distraction. If given the chance I could be the happiest homemaker and mother in the world! With a strong beautiful and productive family that is the both successful and effective.

The problem is that I know what I can give but I am helpless to what I receive. Because I know the magnitude of my female power I am determined to be loved adequately. I refuse to be disregarded, but I loathe being a distraction. The problem may be the extremes. I want to be cared for but not taken care of. I want to be desired but not worshiped. I want a partner not a master and my lover must first be my friend. Trust is paramount therefore transparency and honesty are essential to the success of the relationship. I have a distaste for the judgmental and therefore I make every effort to not finalize my opinions. (Side note we all have and form opinions based on the information we receive, passing judgment settles that opinion as the absolute and usually requires some convincing to change. It also colors your responses and closes your mind.)

Now on to why I am a cynic! People are inherently selfish and when you love them adequately no matter how much they love you back they want everything and because they haven’t been asked for much they are thrown off by demands. I really don’t get people most of the time anyway. I believe in the power of people doing things for good but I see so many devious efforts at kindness that I am jaded.

Because I live free of motives, I am constantly told that I am naive, which as I keep on living I realize may be true. I want to live life louder and love harder I am just uninterested in the lack of reciprocation. I can not change this plan, so I am planning a trip to Eat & Pray as for the love thing I think I am good. I wonder if by definition I am not a cynic. Hmmm?

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Figuring out Where you Are in Your SEASON

Many women have dreams. A desire that they always wanted to fulfil. Often times we think we know how to make that dream come true. The reality is our plans for breaking into our dream career may not fit who we are anymore. I always wanted to work in television. I have been successful in the career that was chosen for me, but in my mind and my heart I always felt I had been robbed of my true destiny.

The key to knowing is to pay attention to what is working in your life and be grateful for it. If you have a job that you don't feel serves your purpose seek God and serve your purpose with your hobbies and after work plans.

As I live I learn that when the bible says that your gift will make room for you it doesn't include that the gift has to be cultivated to grow into something that people will give place to. Many people can sing but the gift never makes room if they never start belting out tunes, and to be better they have to be heard by people that know what they are listening to. This is how all gifts can be prepared for the spotlight.

The other thing is that you  can miss God if you are a procrastinator. There will be a period of time in your life that you can get anything you want, the stars align and you have to take advantage of that. You have to not procrastinate. Take the meetings and send out the business plans. Take advantage of your time. Whether it's big like that or that or small like getting extra funding for your after-school initiative. Their is that moment when you are anointed with favor and influence. This is the time to strike for whatever you want.

In the meantime, listen. Listen to your spirit and listen to the people around you. Listen to God inside you and get prepared. Make yourself ready for the moment that the iron is Hot because it won't always be the season to try the new but it will always be the season to be prepared for what you are believing for.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Living Your Resume vs Your Eulogy

Today the “friend in my head” Arianna Huffington has inspired me to write about morality. As a survivor of several suicide attempts and a few other bad ideas that could have resulted in the loss of my life, I think I have a little to say on the matter and so I will say on.

Arianna’s post was mainly about how we should live our Eulogy instead of our Resume. Well, I think I have spent my life on my eulogy and the stress that plagues me is that as a Capricorn success for me is measured in the tangible. So while I have nurtured beautiful relationships and carried my friends through perilous times in their life. I have remembered the small things and laughed til I cried I have kissed the bottom of my baby’s feet and held hands open to receive the first step. I have lived the Eulogy I have loved and been loved. Yet two things evade my grasp.

To be lost in love with a husband and to thrive in a career that it is not just my job. I have come close to both and yet the brass ring slipped from my fingers. While I can do very little to control the husband phenom, I can handle what I define the success. I have a new desire and unfortunately it does not involve the sweet moments of life. It involves hours alone in front of a computer. Late nights and really big meetings. It involves preparation and unavailability. As such I have subscribed to more blogs on success and find the time to check out what the major minds in business are thinking daily.
I seek to be absent from life’s precious moments. Call me a cynic but I’m over it and if they wait for me after the tangible success comes I will welcome them and wait to experience them. But for know I am off to push for my Holy Grail of Success.

Since I am now officially back on the blog scene, I will tell you all about it.

Getting Success for Myself!