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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The L Factor

OKAY! (Yes I meant to yell) Here is my latest problem with female relationships. While it is a plague of the human existence that dates back to the first family of creation I want to call it out JEALOUSY!!!! I believe in definitions so let me share with you my new philosophy defined by me. I will close with a real life example that ticked me off to the extreme that I can’t seem to let it go! The Lesbian Factor: also referred to as the The L Factor for short ~ When a woman develops a friendship with another woman and something happens in her mind that she begins to feel entitled to a certain level of attention and support that requires the friend to forego other relationships in order to appease this friend. When said woman loses sight of the barriers and begins to think of the friendship as an exclusive opportunity; an occurrence that causes women to be angry and feel jealousy towards other women that share a relationship with their friends that they are not privy to. It is called The L Factor because this is normal for lesbian women in a relationship, but it becomes a matter of lunacy for friendships. For extreme cases see “Single White Female” or more modern examples “the roommate”. To explain my furry here is a little background on me: I am a loving person to the people I love. I am a kisser, hugger, rubber; you name it I pack on the love! These deep and meaningful displays of emotion are highly reserved only for people that I love and I mean love for real! If I do not know you personally I will speak to you and keep it moving. I do not hug strangers unless I am struck with some deep conviction to like them, immediately. It is a spirit thing. O and I blow kisses! I think loving people is a lost art. At the same time I am a stone cold all caps B****! Yes I said it, because I am. This word is used to refer to me by anyone that does not know me. Primarily because I don’t care to know them. I don’t seek friends or lovers. When people or for me we find each other and are the better for it. That is how I see it. I am my favorite person so I have a confidence that intimidates most women and some men, and that’s for real! So now that you have the basics on me here is the story and my point. What I would love for you (the reader) to do is comment with your own story of maybe where you have had a friend or been the friend with “The L Factor”! We are planning to pursue this towards a documentary so come on ladies be honest. Just recently a dear and close friend of mine was in a car accident. Our relationship is unique from most because while we love, pray for, encourage and check one another, but we are not on the phone all the time or together once a week. We do not require daily maintenance, but we are always there for the other in time of trouble, but we do both have friends that need constant attention and we do our best in those relationships. Forgive my digress. The night before this accident she and I were out hanging and partying, and did I mention she is my stylist? Well she is so after cocktails we run to the salon. She makes be beautiful then heads to karaoke. I mention that we were together because it becomes relevant to the stupid later. So while in church I see that I have missed a call that presumed to be from her because she was supposed to join me in service. As I am leaving later I listen to the message from her sister that informs me that around 7:30 that AM my friend has wrapped her car around a pole. Not because she continued drinking but she was in a curve and it started raining, and she had no idea that when you hit water, release the brake and hold the steering wheel steady! Remember that if you are ever in an accident, the brakes are your enemy! The joy that I picked the phone up with that Sunday afternoon drained from my spirit. All I wanted was a laugh about how she had overslept. I knew that she wasn’t so messed up that she couldn’t drive. Trust me this girl could drink, drive a stick and slather makeup to perfection. When I arrive at the hospital she is fully intact. I am told that nothing is broken, and when I see the car I know that nothing more than God’s grace has saved my friend. I was so happy that she was going to be fine that upon seeing her to avoid tears I kissed her. I kissed her hands and her head, her eyes, her swollen wrist. I spoke to her gently and told her that I loved her and that I was grateful that God had kept her alive and whole and intact. I even thanked God as I kissed her. I cared little for who else was there. So while I am celebrating my friend’s miracle her “L Factor” friend is in the hall blaming me, saying that this is my fault and she hates me and blah, blah, blah! Her goal was to have me evicted from my friend’s room. Her anger kindled to the point that after leaving the hospital she did not return and grew even angrier when I answered a call she made to the room the next day, and she did not comeback to visit our friend because I was there. In my opinion that was when hating me because I don’t need to talk to you went to far. Other people’s opinion of me is never my business and so when women hate I let them, but where does it end? Sidebar: The friend and I are casual, I think she is fake, but I don’t care enough to bring it up and therefore we speak. I don’t initiate conversation and when we are thrust into one I try to be cordial, but I have never pretended that I want to be her friend, because I don’t. I have never accepted her phone number because we have nothing to talk about. While we have similar life experience, I know what it means to love myself.

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