The Confidence Formula

So as Believers, People of Faith, we are called to trust an invisible God and believe that the words He left for us are true and effective and relevant in our lives currently. As a Christian I was often baffled by how to know if I was really standing in faith. This struggle came from my personality. I am a planner I make list and forecast the future. So my math was hindered by my logic. This is why as a Believer I had to learn how to do just that BELIEVE. 

If you need a scriptural reference Romans 8:1 should do it, but today I am going to talk out of my heart. No matter how many times you go to church the clergy urge you to get in the word. To study more often to be closer to God. For me my journey to confidence in what God had for me and my right to its attainment came from me doing just that. I had to first learn the what God said on the matters that concerned me because if you have read “The Guide To It!” Then you know that I believe in praying God’s promises. I then had to find a way to make it my own. Secondly, I resisted my excuses to not sit still with the Lord. I always had one more thing to do, I was tired it was too early or I just plain didn't feel like reading the word or going over my meditation. I walk in my truth and often I just didn't want to. Have you ever looked over your excuses and realized that your humanity a.k.a your flesh was acting out its enmity towards God? Thirdly, I began to confess over my confessions that if God be true every man or situation that makes what He said untrue is a lie. Read that again! 

What began to happen was I could say like David: Who does this uncircumcised (ungodly) giant (problem circumstance) think he is! Not only will I slay him, but I will break the curse and the strong hold that created and supported him! (1 Samuel 17:26) 

In case you missed it the confidence formula is about Knowing what you believe, what promise you are standing on, why despite the seeds you have sown the lies you have told, you can be forgiven and victorious with that same word! So I still make lists, plan and forecast the future but instead of preparing for the worst as an ending I prepare for it as a temporary trial and expect the manifestation of the promise. 

Get That For Yourself!

Love

ANR

Saving Some For Yourself: Love Can Never Be Unsure

Saving Some For Yourself: Love Can Never Be Unsure: Love Can Never Be Unsure ~Maya Angelou This quote has and continues to help me determine when I have arrived at the end of the road w...

Love Can Never Be Unsure

Love Can Never Be Unsure

~Maya Angelou

This quote has and continues to help me determine when I have arrived at the end of the road with anything. “Love Can Never Be Unsure," a line delivered by the deceased force of nature that is Maya Angelou.For me the words are a barometer of effort. When you love yourself you love life and that is because the people in your life, the place you find yourself in and the things that accommodate you make you happy. Trust you knowing also referred to as your spirit man. I have heard people say that you can’t love inanimate things, for the record and the purposes of this blog I respectfully disagree. Love takes effort interest and involvement.

Loving another human being is easy living with and being in relationship with another human being is a purpose driven endeavor. There are times when it feels perfect and doing whats asked of the relationship is a joy but as we all know there are days when you want to burn the breakfast on purpose just to prove a point. (I am the only one? Fine.) As a ferocious lover I have learned that in the hardest moment the easiest question to as yourself is “Are you sure?” The one thing you have to know is that the love is real and there. Subconsciously we answer the question all the time, we draw on love to do the things we don't feel like doing. The thing I want to address here is the caregiving nature.

I have always been a caregiver. Without cognition I have always taken care of people and after the death of my mother I found myself uncared for. I did for people and they did for me but the caring wasn’t there was indiscernible love and a lack of intimacy. I was unfulfilled in every area of my life. I felt abandoned by everyone that was supposed to love me, but what I realized and began to change was the reality that I had abandoned myself. I had to take some time to spend with just me. Sometimes you have to rediscover the love in you for you, this is always the starting point. You can’t give what you don't have. 

Seeing life through the lens of love allows you to see things clearly and with mercy. So while I have talked about relationships here the truth is that I check my knowing to be sure in everything. What I have learned is that God is Love and we should live in his presence reflecting Him as Love to the earth. With God guiding you the feelings of doubt are warfare and that is easy to confirm by submitting and drawing closer to God. Resist the desire to not want to know. I am not saying that by accident, I have many times not wanted to hear what God was saying because it was easier to just be unsure and not make a decision. Dont let that devil ride, stay in flow. 

Keep that for yourself,

ANR 

Find Your Place to Refresh

Are you in a dry place in your life? Do you feel like you can not access the fruit of your efforts. Have you emptied your cup for the saucer experience? If this is where you find yourself then come here and sit with me for a while and I will attempt to help you. My love once taught me that help is only help when it is perceived as such otherwise it is interference. I hope that if you have read this far I am not interfering but I am going to get a little in your business.

Here are five of the places that dry us out.

1.      Negative relationships

2.     Dwelling on past failures and disappointments

3.     Wanting more for people than they want for themselves

4.     Dying with the lie

5.     Involuntary Surrender

One  two and three are pretty self explanatory and if you have ever sought to better yourself then you know these relationships and habits are hard to break but worth the effort. It is draining to let anyone speak into your life things that do not edify it. You can’t be okay with the relationship that doesn’t feed you plain and simple. I will starve before I eat molded bread. More people will always come, you can make new friends and that man is replaceable beyond your hurt feelings and a few lonely nights protect your prosperity by removing these types of people.  We all make mistakes and living in those moments divert you attention from current opportunities and leave you seeing life in the rearview experiencing loss and sadness.  Go get your life back. Release the past, I have a process that I follow for disappointments. It is available on my website. (link the word website) And number three is about family. Your family are the people that you can not get rid of even if you do not have them in your life on a daily basis they are still your blood. For these types of draining relationships you have to do work of loving people where they are. If you don’t want a college degree then okay Im sorry that is your choice but as a result you have this amount of time to get out of my house and you can expect this much and type of help from me going forward. Finish with “Don’t believe me just watch this moving company come in box your things and leave them at the edge of the driveway. I love you.”

Now for the reasons that ignited the need for this blog. Number 4 – Dying with the Lie. I would often accuse my love of being a cheater and I was right he was and is. The reality of that was that I did not mind the cheating as much as I despised being lied to. I hated knowing and not being able to talk about it, not getting the details so I could move on with my life. Now that is odd and doesn’t relate to most people but the point is I had to live with his lies that he would swear by even in the face of proof that he had lied. Living in a place that wasn’t true to who I am made me sick with myself and as a result I was draining my cup. Prior to that growing up in a terrible parenting situation trying to call the man that I look like my father when he had never been an active part of my life. Saying the words mother to a woman that had tried since birth to kill me physically and emotionally since birth felt like a lie I could not live with as result I started referring to them by name and felt immediately better. They were not my parents they were the vessels that would bring me to my real parents. Lying to myself that they were more than that was draining my cup. You get the picture? Something in your life is a lie, honor yourself with the truth and let the lie die.

Number 5 – Involuntary Surrender.  I have often found myself caught up in situations that I had no idea how I had gotten into the mess or how I would get out. More often than we realize we surrender to people to situations to responsibilities that we have no capacity to take on. I have learned to honor my gifts by only doing what serves them. Only attending events that feed my purpose and if it doesn’t and I happen to go I don’t stay long. I make it my business to be present in my life to show up for myself and to ask myself what the yes will cost me.  What is the yes costing you that you have not accounted for?

I said all of this to say that after every tough time after all of the energy depletion and disappointment you must seek to be refreshed. I love the beach and going there revives me, but when I can’t get there I clean my house and have a staycation in which I rest, pray, read, write, sleep, plan, eat well, and binge watch television. I cut-off my cellphone and only take house phone calls. Yes I have a house phone, are you judging me? I have child a business and a job.

So in closing find your happy place by resting in the power of God and self. Re-enter your life refreshed and protect the power and resources that you have stored in your cup. God will add increase for the saucer, but he has to have something to increase. It is not magic, while I do believe in magic, I am convinced that growth and prosperity are achieved by an increase to effort. I can’t expect to win blogging awards if I don’t write blogs. I cant expect to have bestsellers if Idont market the books I write. I do the work God gives the increase. You do the work and as sure as he promised it God will give the increase.

I love you

Atiya

My #uglytruth

Tonight, I watched Being Mary Jane and decided to tell my #uglytruth here. I blog because sometimes I have so much to say then I fail to blog because I can't figure out how to say the multitude of thoughts and opinions flooding my brain. So here I am blogging and telling my truth.

The truth is that I spent noticeably 18 years of my life wanting to die. A truth that has brought me to my greatest call in life, to share with others my pain and how I came to a place of healing. I was abused disregarded and fractured in so many ways as a child that I just couldn't cope. I shut down and hid my truth from not only the adults in my life that may or may not have been able to help me but from myself. I trusted no one and held hatred like an all too familiar blanket. I stored my pain in a closed off cell of my heart while I went on to damage my body by choosing lovers that were damaged and fragile, choosing friends that had something to prove not support to offer. I took care of everyone but myself and believed the lie that I was just fine.

Then after missing a really nice event because I had taken far to many sleeping pills and instead of killing me they made me vomit and sleep for two days, I asked myself the question: Why are you doing this too yourself? I had no idea and the cell my pain was locked in raged war inside of my but I had no idea that freeing it would fix it. I began what I had decided to define as my yearly purge cry. I would cry for days, just weeping like I had lost a loved one or a job or things that matter to people that much. I had no idea why and this had been happening for years so I for the second time sought medical attention. They gave me drugs that literally hurt my teeth. I could not get it together so realizing that the pills didn't make a difference in my mood I continued my quest to stop the emotional spiral. I have been in church my whole life and nothing about my religion or my spirituality had stopped me from fantasizing about running my car off the road and how to do it right so I didn't wake up in a hospital. So I knew that prayer and meditation were a tool but not the answer. So I stayed the course and began writing more. For some people gardening does it but for me nothing makes me feel clearer than words on a page, out loud, I love words. So I wrote until I received an epiphany. I got to my truth. Man it was bad. It was all kinds of horrible abuse, neglect, shaming, bullying I had lived through the nightmare and because i wouldn't accept that it had no power in the present it was keeping me up all night. I inventoried the emotions and I faced them one by one. I looked into the eye of my storm, right at that broken little girl hiding in the closet and I said to her that she was okay. I helped her understand that none of her experience was going to break her that she was born for greatness and like Joseph she was being made ready by the words of her testimony.

So when you are faced with giving up and letting go don't accept the lie that world will be better off without you. It will be better off by you becoming the person that all the evil tried to destroy. As always: Suicide is an unfortunate choice that a sane person makes when they feel like they aren't worth fighting for.  I plead with all of you today to choose yourself. Say out loud: I deserve to live this life and the best for me is yet to come I want to see it. After all the hell I've been through I should stick around to see my life get greater.
I love you because that's easy, I don't live with you!
Get Some For Yourself,
Tia

Dealing With Depression

I have a family history of mental illness and drug abuse. Early on in life this terrified me and being a believer in the power of a testimony I sought out people who were successful against all odds from King Saul to Tyler Perry. What I learned from their stories was that you never come out of these things unscathed. Some demon of your past always haunts your present. For me it is deep sadness, and I just disappear into myself in an effort to avoid my pain or disappointment.  So if you have to deal with depression and you have tried and failed at ignoring the sadness associated with your plight here are my own steps that I am working right now, as in as I write this.

Step 1: Acknowledge what triggered the sadness or disappointment. Clearly face that this has happened and your feeling about it, how would you have liked to had changed things, what do you wish had happened instead.

Step 2: Accept that this is a page in your book of life and grieve it. Cry over it, eat ice cream on it, or my personal favorite, sit and look one way. Whatever it takes allow yourself the process that loss has to go through.

Step 3: Announce Your Forgiveness: Enough is enough with anything not getting you to your dreams. The bible says that when you stand praying stand forgiving. So forgive yourself for allowing it, forgive those that left hurt or denied you and forgive the universe for not yielding to your will. Say it out loud in a place that you will remember being. This marks your thinking.

Step 4: Resist The Emotions: You will remember parts oof it, you will remember your failures your will regret doing nothing or regret doing to much. These are demonic forces trying to allow the depression to enter in. Remind yourself of the place you stood and forgave and how you accepted that their was nothing more to be done and fight to focus on moving forward.

Step  5: Do What You Are Afraid To Do: Whatever the depression made you feel like you did not have the strength to get done, complete that very thing. Whatever overwhelmed you face it and fight forward. It teaches the world and the depression that you are the victor!

Step 6: Be Gentle With Yourself: Sometimes it will feel like to much, sometimes moving forward means moving through a mess you made. So as you work through the pain of not having what you wanted or not having what you need, return to Step 1 and know that you have an expected end. To whom much is given more is required, and if you were not born with purpose these word mean nothing to you.

We fight when something is at stake: freedom, a way of life, an ideal, or to force people to our will or religious beliefs. So if the evil of this world is fighting you: you must protect your freedom, fight for your way of life, wage war to see manifestation of your purpose, and violently take by force the universe to submit to your will and God's will as it relates to your life. 

Save This For Yourself
ANR

Know The Promise

Today I am reminded of a quote I posted earlier this week “When stuck between rock and hard place stand still and demand that God clear your path.”

I have realized a few things I want to share about putting a demand on The Promises of God:

1. You have to know what the promises are
2. You have to have a revelation of your purpose
3. You have to have faith which is believing and acting on what you believe

-Whenever I am in a bible study group or sunday school class I suggest that women read the word and know what God promised. In my current denomination of faith we talk a lot about the testimonies of God’s people in the bible but not about God’s promises and how they translate. So I am often encouraging people to read the bible and pray for revelation. Ex: When God said that tithing would cause him to rebuke the devourer for my sake, I confess that no man can harm my life and I am redeemed from accidents, theft and untimely death.

-When you have not sat still with yourself and God to understand why he put you here and what you need to be successful then you are at a disadvantage because I have realized that God is not the only Being aware of your potential, Satin is too. So if your don’t get in the game then you have no idea what your angels are fighting for and you will make decisions that are contrary to God’s plan for your life and find yourself in places that God has to work a miracle to get you out of. Which is not a good thing because miracles are a sign of the power that works in us to the none believer.

-Self explanatory! If God called you to be a teacher start with a degree. If God called you to be an news woman practice reading  script while being recorded.

If you know where you are going work the plan and work that word till you are where God promised you will be and when it feels like you can’t make it another step the breakthrough is so close that Satin is scared to keep charging towards your goals and take the kingdome by force. God promised some things and it takes valiant effort to see them manifested in our lives.

Be strong, Be Purposeful, Be Successful!

Revelation From The Power Falling

Last night while on a iTunes gospel station and a song came on that found me right where I was. The words said “Let your power fall when your name is called, prove the doubters wrong. God your still mighty and strong. So fight this battle for me and help my unbelief so i can tell all my friends that you have won again!” I could stomp and shout right now all over this room. I jumped last night and i am leaping  now in my spirit because these words are for those that are with me in the process of getting to the place that God ordained for them, still believing God for the next moment, still  saying no to good alternatives to the promise in order to maintain the pursuit of it. God ministered/preached this song to me with a revelation that I am compelled to share here. 

“Let you power fall, when your name is called.”

In trouble we don't always think of a scripture but if we have a relationship we know how to call on the name of Jesus! The power behind his name will change not just some but all things. I have screamed “help ME Jesus and before I could get to my destination he sent Help! Never take his name lightly because you need to harvest the power in the name to see a manifestation in your life. He has the power to do what you need done! So be specific when you call on the power!

“Prove the doubters wrong”

See when God speaks his vision into you it is for you and not for the people around you. I am reminded of Joseph when he saw his end at the beginning when he was just becoming a man. He told people that were threatened by the promise God made to him. He told people that went beyond doubting to set out plans to kill the promise. I believe in my sanctified imagination that Joseph talked to God while working as a slave and said I am the head and not the tail God elevate me according to promise give me the wisdom operate like a king and not slave. I can hear him resisting the mindset of hopelessness and poverty and the very mentality of slavery. He carried himself like a great man and that commitment was what kept elevating him despite the devil’s attempts to thwart his vision. What I love about it is that none of what he went through was wasted, and he made it to the promise. 

“God Your mighty and strong”

Sometimes we have to remember that we serve a God referred to as “The Lion of the Tribe of Judah” He is victorious! We win we are not just conquers but more than conquerors. We are in an elite class of people we are King’s children with an incorruptible promise. He can and is willing to do whatever you need done.

“So fight this battle for me”

Then God said the battle is often in your mind or your spirit because you have a spiritual warfare and your testimony is strengthened every time you beat the devil! Like they say if he did it before he can do it again but the best thing about it is I suffer less every time because I have a calm confidence and secret smile that suggests my knowing. I don’t have to lift a finger because I am preserved by a promise, this word is gong to fight this battle for me and in the end, I win!

“…and help my unbelief”

My unbelief is fueled by the doubters that have spoken words that planted a seed in me of doubt. As I am fighting to get to my purpose I am wondering if. If God really called me to this, if I should really relocate my life my family, if I should quit this job, if I should start this business if I should ask for help, if I should sow this seed. I am unconsciously doubting the power of God even though I am consciously “in Faith” for so many things. But I am again reminded of a scripture Philippians 2:13 that says “For it is God that works in you both to will and  todo of his good pleasure.” I can do it even if I don't believe I can because I trust you and you are not a man that you should lie! I esteem Go degreaser than my circumstances.

“So I can tell all my friends that you have won again”

Job’s captivity was turned when he prayed for his friends and if you ever read the whole story then you know those doubters were not his friends they were the same people that told him that God was no longer with him. They were the ones that were backbiting and gossiping about him, But God. My current pastor said just today that he prays for his enemies to live if for no other reason than for them to see the promise of God performed in his life. I believe the song says you have won again because it is not your battle! Every faith fight every time you overcome the attack of the enemy in pursuit of purpose you did not fight for you God did not just move for you He moved for His vision birthed in you for His purpose to be fulfilled for the souls assigned to your ministry. It is liken to the US Army, when you sign up you sell yourself to become the property of the United States of America. You are in battles that are not about you but about the agenda of the US government. Every mission you successfully complete belongs to the U.S. and you. When you call on the name of Jesus you are surrendering to ownership of Jesus Christ and you just have participate in the plan while The Lion of The Tribe of Judah that has never lost a battle fights for you! Whatever God promised you is yours and no demon can kill you and no sickness or disease can destroy you because God is going to get you to the promise because he can’t lie.

I know it was long but I hope it blessed you. I pray you were able to get some revelation and joy for obtaining God’s promise.

In Honor of A Queen

I had previously prepared a blog about why I hadn’t blogged but tonight I am blogging about the void left in the space of the Great Dr. Maya Angelou. She was like none before her and none to come. Her height her class her elegance her beauty her intelligence and whit it will takes years for us to truly understand the depth but like most if not all greats she will be studied and sought for understanding and in that lives will be changed and closed spirits will open light will shine in dark places and the curious will find “a rainbow in the clouds”.

I had the privilege of being in her presence only once I attended a gala in which she was invited to speak. As a child I had dreamed of going to one of her lectures at the university, but as life began to pull me by the time I came back to that dream she had retired from teaching. So on the night I meditated for twenty minutes prior to attending the gala, I was so in the clouds I got lost getting their but I wanted my heart and mind to elevate so that I could absorb every second, and having been robbed of many of my memories by depression I made notes after. Yet there are moments that I hold dear from that evening that are simply details that I didn’t think were worthy of writing down, but hold deep in my heart; like when she cleared her throat with a cough and we (the audience) did the same she said “now you are with me in a way that we are beginning to mimic each other”. She held us that captive as she spoke of her childhood and caged bird experience, her health and her need for her glasses. She stood and sat as her body allowed. She taught me that evening about Terence the first African American Playwright, you could read what a Google search further enhanced. She referenced him for a point that she often made: ”I am human and nothing about the human experience is alien to me.” This was her message for forgiveness and a roadmap to resisting judgment. Then in her beautiful baritone she sang these beautiful words “When it looked like da sun wasn’t gone shine nomore God put a rainbow in the clouds.” O Lawd I never forgot it! I wept at the power of it. Much like I later saw her weep at the thought of how much God loved her.

There is popular Gospel song entitled Take me to the King, my jam! To have been in the presence of Dr. Angelou for me was like greeting a Queen. I was forever changed and touched by the magnitude of her presence. So as I return to my great love of writing and sharing my stories I will take so many things with me from this wise woman, who had the privilege of being loved enough to offer love and self respect to the world in a way that we could mimic her until we got it for ourselves.

Enjoy God’s Presence Great Queen Dr Maya Angelou.

Can You Be A Cynic about Love?

I often wonder if I am cynical about love or just the likelihood that I will experience it. Today I read one of my favorite works of poetry Desiderata. (Click the link to read it.) It inspired my latest rant. I have decided to share my philosophy about love and why I have been a cynic and to be clear I have decided to define our terms for this blog:
Cynic: a person who believes that only selfishness motivates human actions and who disbelieves in or minimizes selfless acts or disinterested points of view.
Love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

To begin I am a lover. I love hard and deep, passionately and patiently. I love like my heart will never be broken and like the object of my affection is incapable of wrong. I see the good and work with the bad; I prioritize affection and care to the point of distraction. If given the chance I could be the happiest homemaker and mother in the world! With a strong beautiful and productive family that is the both successful and effective.

The problem is that I know what I can give but I am helpless to what I receive. Because I know the magnitude of my female power I am determined to be loved adequately. I refuse to be disregarded, but I loathe being a distraction. The problem may be the extremes. I want to be cared for but not taken care of. I want to be desired but not worshiped. I want a partner not a master and my lover must first be my friend. Trust is paramount therefore transparency and honesty are essential to the success of the relationship. I have a distaste for the judgmental and therefore I make every effort to not finalize my opinions. (Side note we all have and form opinions based on the information we receive, passing judgment settles that opinion as the absolute and usually requires some convincing to change. It also colors your responses and closes your mind.)

Now on to why I am a cynic! People are inherently selfish and when you love them adequately no matter how much they love you back they want everything and because they haven’t been asked for much they are thrown off by demands. I really don’t get people most of the time anyway. I believe in the power of people doing things for good but I see so many devious efforts at kindness that I am jaded.

Because I live free of motives, I am constantly told that I am naive, which as I keep on living I realize may be true. I want to live life louder and love harder I am just uninterested in the lack of reciprocation. I can not change this plan, so I am planning a trip to Eat & Pray as for the love thing I think I am good. I wonder if by definition I am not a cynic. Hmmm?

Figuring out Where you Are in Your SEASON

Many women have dreams. A desire that they always wanted to fulfil. Often times we think we know how to make that dream come true. The reality is our plans for breaking into our dream career may not fit who we are anymore. I always wanted to work in television. I have been successful in the career that was chosen for me, but in my mind and my heart I always felt I had been robbed of my true destiny.

The key to knowing is to pay attention to what is working in your life and be grateful for it. If you have a job that you don't feel serves your purpose seek God and serve your purpose with your hobbies and after work plans.

As I live I learn that when the bible says that your gift will make room for you it doesn't include that the gift has to be cultivated to grow into something that people will give place to. Many people can sing but the gift never makes room if they never start belting out tunes, and to be better they have to be heard by people that know what they are listening to. This is how all gifts can be prepared for the spotlight.

The other thing is that you  can miss God if you are a procrastinator. There will be a period of time in your life that you can get anything you want, the stars align and you have to take advantage of that. You have to not procrastinate. Take the meetings and send out the business plans. Take advantage of your time. Whether it's big like that or that or small like getting extra funding for your after-school initiative. Their is that moment when you are anointed with favor and influence. This is the time to strike for whatever you want.

In the meantime, listen. Listen to your spirit and listen to the people around you. Listen to God inside you and get prepared. Make yourself ready for the moment that the iron is Hot because it won't always be the season to try the new but it will always be the season to be prepared for what you are believing for.

Living Your Resume vs Your Eulogy

Today the “friend in my head” Arianna Huffington has inspired me to write about morality. As a survivor of several suicide attempts and a few other bad ideas that could have resulted in the loss of my life, I think I have a little to say on the matter and so I will say on.

Arianna’s post was mainly about how we should live our Eulogy instead of our Resume. Well, I think I have spent my life on my eulogy and the stress that plagues me is that as a Capricorn success for me is measured in the tangible. So while I have nurtured beautiful relationships and carried my friends through perilous times in their life. I have remembered the small things and laughed til I cried I have kissed the bottom of my baby’s feet and held hands open to receive the first step. I have lived the Eulogy I have loved and been loved. Yet two things evade my grasp.

To be lost in love with a husband and to thrive in a career that it is not just my job. I have come close to both and yet the brass ring slipped from my fingers. While I can do very little to control the husband phenom, I can handle what I define the success. I have a new desire and unfortunately it does not involve the sweet moments of life. It involves hours alone in front of a computer. Late nights and really big meetings. It involves preparation and unavailability. As such I have subscribed to more blogs on success and find the time to check out what the major minds in business are thinking daily.
I seek to be absent from life’s precious moments. Call me a cynic but I’m over it and if they wait for me after the tangible success comes I will welcome them and wait to experience them. But for know I am off to push for my Holy Grail of Success.

Since I am now officially back on the blog scene, I will tell you all about it.

Getting Success for Myself!

Long Live The Lists

Today I am in a different place than my usual state of non-resistance. For the first time in months I want to be productive. Not in the "we all want to do better then sit on our butts and do nothing kind of way". More in a planning kinda way. I recently read, as in last night, a blog post that reminded me that successful people make lists. The none-neurotic can barely believe that but it’s true for the mental. We need a plan and steps to follow.




If you read this blog, then you know I love real life examples, sometime to a fault. Nevertheless my real life example involves the truth of someone I know and love dearly. He is a planner and a list maker and he is enormously successful as long as he sticks to the plan, when he goes off the grid he loses money and goes in debt and while the nature of his business remains relatively the same he rises and falls based on his ability to adhere to his plan. I wonder of he knows this? I ask because I learned this by watching him and how he operates through life.



And like all smart girls I compared it to my own. I realized that I am at my best when I make list, and agendas. For me this is sanity. Even with the time it takes to make the list I get more done in a day than I would without it. I need to be around order to function at my best and knowing that when I look at my work desk and my bedroom I am barely functioning. I make lists for everything all the activities for the house, the chores and the steps to complete them, where I need to shop and what I need to buy. Then I break down the lists into tasks and add them to a calendar, thus creating daily agendas,



Lists are King for Me and the ruler of my success. Not literally I believe in God, that statement was not meant to be anti-Semitic.



Nevertheless.



Long-Lives the List people, Let’s get out our pens!

There Will Be Glory After This

 I believe that when we are all designed according to purpose, but I know that we need direction. After the sermon today I spoke to a friend that got smart with me because she felt I was saying she needed something that I didn’t. Now if you follow my blogs then you know I am always trying to check myself. So I considered her implication. I realized that Unlike her I am having a valley experience that will prepare me for the mountain. I have received a word from the Lord that has defined my future. I just have to survive this season and learn my lessons and stay focused on the promise. I have to give on-time and sow wisely. It may look like I am down, but I am in pursuit of purpose. There will be glory after this and I am getting ready to enjoy it without wasting it! So if you are going through what feels like Hell. If you are in the midst of trail that you are just depending on God to see you through, then understand this: FOR YOU TO EXPERIENCE A PRAISE YOU MUST SEE YOURSELF IN THE PROMISE.

People without vision perish because they lay dormant in life following every wind that blows. Ive been there and got the t-shirt hat and commeorative fan. I decided a long time ago that I would not keep going from on bad situation to a worse one. I wouldn’t go from a bad man to terrible one. I set some standards and in that area of my life things changed. So I began to decide some other things for myself. Now that I am nolonger emotionally out of control. I am moving on to the next arena of my life. Specifically in this season it is my career path. I am making a mental list of standards and I am going to see to it that I experience God’s best for me by seeking the promise. That’s a platform for success in any area of your life.

Say it Out Loud: “SET THE STANDARD & SEEK THE PROMISE!”

 When the promise is manifested, THERE WILL BE GLORY! GLORY defined: something that is a source of honor, fame, or admiration; adoring praise and worshipful thanksgiving; resplendent beauty or magnificence, or prosperity!

 --Nuff Said,
Tia

Gay Marriage: Stop the Drama

Apparently in Alabama it is unpopular to support gay marriage. Now I will admit that I tend to oppose tradional beliefs just for the sport of it, but in reality this is an unreasonable argument.  If you are anti-gay rights fine but think about this for a moment. If an old woman can leave her cat $90 million and require that her executor donate the rest to charity when the cat dies and she is considered sane and her wishes are carried out by the court then gay marriage should be legal!

Here is the point. People want to say that just because the church does not sanction them they are wrong. Well in my opinion the Bible has been used to enslave nations and start more wars than it has been used as the center of peace and tolerance. So don’t start me on how this is not a religious argument! Well since this page is filled with white space let’s start me.

Before I make these highly intelligent points. I will say this. I am for Christ. I am a Christian and I believe on the Name of Jesus. I do however understand that it is my choice and my right as a human being to choose how and by what means I will find and serve God in this life. Now I and my fellow Saints fall out like tooth and tongue when it comes to the ideal that we are required to believe only what the bible says and we can openly read one or two versions and everything else is hypocrisy. And please do not behead me but I must admit that if the only way to God is through Jesus Christ then it would make Heaven a club for a certain kind of person and God had created us to diverse for that to be true. And what about the Jews that had a direct covenant before Christ came along? Why can’t we accept that the world is bigger than our box? This is my problem with religion, and anything that limits logic.

Here I am ranting about the definition of Holy Matrimony. Definitions are just socially adapted explanations of what something means. An additional collection of words to describe another word. So here is my question if two men living together becomes socially accepted as marriage will the definition be amended? According to history it should be Webster modified the dictionary with 15 new words in 2012. Because as we live we adapt and create, so how can we believe that we should be bound by any idea?

We all have to a pick a side of the argument, but I say when it comes down to it, it’s about human rights. It’s about a couple living together for ten years, one of them dying and the other being left with nothing because they didn’t hire an attorney and plan to have their time together cut short by a drunk driver.

Why aren’t we fighting about how the media normalizes homosexuality and promiscuity? Why aren’t we teaching our kids tolerance and respect for the reality that the world is made up of people who are nothing like them, just as much as it is people that are? They are born knowing that at our core we are all the same regardless of our choices. We take that reality from them by teaching them intolerance and hate.

So yes I a minority, single parent, inner city with an at poverty income supports gay-marriage because at our core we all want the same things regardless of our choices. 

On Saving Some For Yourself

On saving Some For Yourself.

I have so neglected my blog, and for that I apologize. I have apparently been in a slump about my economic condition. Nevertheless, I have pulled myself together to make a point. In the famous words of Jay-Z: "You are who you are period!"

That being said I realize that I am a creative force. My characters invade my meditation, dialogue my dreams, and make me question my sanity. Who I am is so very engrained in my existence that I am defined by it.

If you want to know your divine purpose try this: research it! Didn’t think I was going there did you? The truth is when you have a gift it pervades your existence in such a way that no matter your normal personality traits based on geographic location, zodiac and upbringing, you are different.

For me I am by nature: Fun loving, focused, financially driven, a hard worker, a passionate lover, monogamous, talkative, and engaging. I am also a tea drinker that loves to party!

As a Writer I am: Anti-social, a loner, introverted, constantly distracted, and in need of more and more alone time. I am also a coffee drinker that prefers to sit in silence.

See what I mean by my creativity challenging my sanity? While these characteristics are drastically different they are common for my divinely chosen field.

Know yourself and the characteristics of your gift. It will not only make you understand that you are normal, and after all we all want to feel normal on some level, right? Knowing confirms to you that you are on your path!

I hope this helps you figure out that you are in your place!

Live Life Like You Only Get Once Chance

Tia

Five Ways To Get Back To You

As I began my day, I am reminded that I have a lot to do. I have a handicap. The more I have to do the less I feel like doing! I want to step away from the laptop and land softly on my bed, then sleep until it all somehow either gets done or doesn’t matter anymore. For people who know my past this was lazy not sadness. Why is it so easy to allow ourselves to be distracted from us? It is vital to get back to you so that you focus on what’s important to you. Well I have Five Ways To Get Back To You!

 1. Allow yourself a few moments of silence. I have found that when I am really mentally and emotionally messed up I can’t be still. I am running away from the thoughts in my head at record speed. A sign of good mental health is that you are able to sit in a room and do nothing. Cut the TV off and sit still, if you are not emotionally changed you might be all right.

2. Save for something you really want for you and buy it. One saving teaches you patience and having it brings you joy. I got a pair of shoes that I sit up on the counter because they make me smile.

3. Evaluate the people in your life. If they aren’t adding, subtract them! Period! If they have a stronghold on you start praying and canceling plans. You will be better at taking care of the people in your life if you use all of your energy to focus on loving and taking care of the people that reproduce your seeds of love in your life.

4. Learn how to Say No! Do you want to do it? If it is going to inconvenience you, are you okay with the inconvenience? These are vital questions to ask yourself and answer honestly. People are wired to want more than they give. So you have to decide what you want to give and what you need in return.

5. Live in the Truth. I am a fan of brutal honesty. My motto in life is that the truth hurts less than a lie in the long run. It takes bravery to be honest. You have to be willing to accept the unfortunate circumstances of truth and the negative emotions of being honest.

 Now the above list is for people that are healthy, that love themselves and are capable of making wise decisions. Getting it Done still requires the discipline and activity against the other stuff!

 Win at all Costs, Tia

#RIP Whitney

I had a blog prepared but in the light of today being the day that The ICON Whitney Houston is laid to rest I wanted to write something in honor of her and her struggle. While the details of Whitney’s death are not clear, what is clear is that she was a God-fearing Christian woman. Yet her public life was what so many women experience in private. She loved God and could not find a way to translate his promises into her everyday life. God’s faithfulness could have provided more than a legendary career it could have been wise counsel in a failing marriage, wisdom in parenting a child of divorce, more than a conqueror to addiction, and peace that surpasses all understanding in the midst of frustration. Please do not think I am judging Whitney Houston, because I am not. I am hoping that we can look at her life and realize that we have all been there. Why she died doesn’t matte as much as it matters that she died young and her victory was not yet fulfilled. I am sad for all Christian women that are losing at life in any area of life. From the rich to the poor as Christians we have got to show the world that God is greater than the trials and tribulations of this world. Unfortunately, that is not something that God does without our own effort. Intellectually we have got to do more for ourselves. When you pay attention to people that overcame addiction the people that do not relapse are the people that did it for themselves! Wining is your choice and no God, man, or million can do that for you. Let’s look at our own lives and in honor of Whitney let’s make better decisions and give God glory with our lives. Let’s decide to do better and get it done regardless. Don’t try, do, and let nothing stand in your way. Jay-Z says that when great performers die young they leave a good-looking corpse. Whitney left more than that she left a public struggle that denied her of her inheritance a long, prosperous, healthy life and a death in the Lord after having fulfilled long life. I pray for her family and their supernatural peace and comfort in the midst of this storm. I pray that Whitney is present with The Lord and free to watch over those that she loved in this life sending them peace and comfort.

Today I attended my weekly writing class and I have to honestly say that the learning is so organic and rich in it's teaching. I want to be so much better than I have ever been. I am so open to the world and I am excited about what that means to my future and what it changes about my present moments. The other day I posted on Facebook that I was in search of a beautiful experience. I am learning that I get it every day! What have you looked at recently and saw beauty in?

Get to Happy

Lately I have been surprised by my own happiness. If you have ever been in a place of deep depression then you can understand. Depression becomes like your old familiar friend a warm blanket of despair that if you stay depressed long enough in a sick way comforts you with its familiarity. One of my main reasons for starting this blog was to help me and women like me learn ways to keep their sanity and save that special part of themselves for them. I want you to know that being happy is not an effort requiring activity. I thought when I was depressed that you had to work on being happy that it was like love. You had to choose it then fight to protect it. WRONG! As a very happy person I am pleased to inform you that it is easy. While I have a mountain of concerns and hundreds of things I want to accomplish I am okay with the time it is going to take me to get there. I forgive myself for my mistakes and endure the hardships that they cause with a quiet smile. I am at peace with my life and like The Apostle Paul I am content whether I be abased or whether I abound. I understand why I was so depressed for so long. I can do things with a clear head that I never would have dreamed of before. Case and point I recently attended a Writer’s Conference in New York City. I flew there alone and with very little money, by New York standards I was broke. All the same I went happy for the opportunity afforded me and grateful that I would have the opportunity to learn more about my craft. I had the time of my life. I even saw Angela Bassett and Samuel L. Jackson live and in person! The performance spoke to me and the people I met were outstanding! I made new friends and stood in lines and waked the streets of Harlem. I enjoyed life in a way that I never thought about before. I was open! I never realized how uptight I was until now. Get to Happy for yourself and don’t worry it is easy to stay there!